THOSE STUPID MOTHS!

I’m not really entirely sure how it happened. I think it all started about 18 or so years ago when one of my kids brought a bird’s nest into the house. We all gathered round and ‘oohhhed’ and ‘aaahhhed’ over God’s creation. I used it as a little, sciency-life lesson. No doubt, knowing me, I attached some bible verses to the lesson.

Fast forward 15 years. We have had tiny moths in our house…ummm…no, make that, houses, ever since. Apparently, these tiny moths made their home in the bird’s nest, and now, they have made their home in my home. And when we moved 13 years ago, they came with.

They are small and kind of stupid. It’s easy enough to sneak up on them with a paper towel and do them in. You can even clap your hands around them and get them when they’re flying—they’re not too fast.

How is it that these neither fast nor clever moths have evaded extinction in my house for years? They like the pantry and dry goods, the higher up in the closet the better. So in the spring, when they show up, you have to look carefully at every box of cereal, every package of cookies and bag of flour you pull out. Some of them have met their doom by being tossed out with a 5-pound box of sugar into the trash. But…what a way to go.

These stupid moths remind me of … my stupid sin.

But, not like the big, destructive sin that leads to a shipwrecked life, where you cry out to God for mercy, and He answers by showering you with unconditional love and forgiveness. The big mistakes often lead a believer to the foot of the cross where they experience being washed in the Blood of the Lamb and are led to true repentance. There may be consequences to follow, but forgiveness and redemption can still be sweet.

No, these moths remind me of my daily, little acts of “self.” My moments of Me First. Maybe not big enough for all to see, but I see them. I wave them off when they come in for a landing. I find excuses for my perfectly human, bad behavior. (I’m tired—always good as an excuse. Who isn’t tired today?) And the moth finds a comfy spot in my hair.

Whether you blow up your marriage with an affair, or you curse silently under your breath at the slow poke in the left lane, sin is sin. And our sin is what separates us from God.

It is the job of the Holy Spirit to convict me of sin, and convict me He does. When I am impatient, when I lose my temper in a flash over nothing, when I ignore someone because it is an inconvenient time. I feel the prompting of God to make a different choice, but oftentimes, I don’t.

It’s such a little thing and we are all so busy, and life goes by so fast, no one else will notice, I reason. But I do, and surely God does.

I can respond to God’s convictions even in the smallest of moments. I can put “self” aside for a bit, and let God use me for others. Or, the moths and I can get cozy on the couch and binge on Monk.

The older I get, the more I desire to drive out the moments of selfishness and chose to have the heart God has towards others. Now, some people just ooze generosity and kindness, but not me. It’s taken a long time, and there is still quite a bit of Me First left inside. But, just as sin is sin, so also, forgiveness is forgiveness. And I find complete redemption at the foot of the cross, even for my stupid, small and petty acts of selfishness.

It’s not over till it’s over. I will keep walking forward with the Lord. When the moths circle, God is showing me an area that I need to let Him get involved in, like the light showing up the dust in a room. In the big stuff or the small stuff, God’s desire is for me to be more like Him.

And so onward I go, choosing to honor God’s Word by faith, and doing my best to follow His leading and not my own.

Killing off one moth at a time.